Shugamoma

Airport

2011-11-19T21:56:00.003-08:00

So, gone are the days of showing up at the airport, with everything packed in one tidy little bag you can carry on, gliding through security, grabbing a latte and a couple magazines and enjoying the people watching at your gate. Yep, gone. But not forgotten. And I love those memories.
Now when I travel I have baggage, and a lot of it. To the point where I dont really look forward to it because of the stress and work it takes to actually get to the point of traveling. The excitement and anticipation of a vacation is extinguished with a big wet mop of reality. 2 kids. And occasionally a husband. My first slap of reality is that it is actually easier to travel alone with my kids than with my beloved, adored mate. I do love him, a lot. I trust him with pretty much everything, all sorts of decision making, money, whatever. But I do not trust him to get himself and kids from drop off to plane ride in one piece. This is where I see my true worth as a wife and mommy. So, I plan a trip to Arizona to see my brothers wedding. I buy the tickets, with the thought in mind of what time of day would work best for the tots to travel. I plan the itinerary of what time to get up, what time we need to leave so we can park the car, shuttle, check bags , security, gate. I pack the bags of all items necessary for little peeps, arrange to have a car seat where we are going, snacks to keep toddler happy and books, games, and diapers. Where I went wrong was handing the keys to my husband, somehow giving him the idea I was handing over control of the whole travel situation. Uh no. He glances at the clock (which had not been changed due to daylight savings time) and this invokes a panic tantrum about how I haven't given us enough time to get there and we are going to miss our flight. I calmly remind him that the clock isn't right and we have plenty of time. So he asks again about the parking arrangement and then once again decides I haven't left enough time to park the car and get on a shuttle bus and we are going to miss the flight. I am passive, I dont like to argue to get upset over things that I know I am right about anyway, time will prove my point. But he does like to argue, so he throws out a comment that "I just don't care about what he thinks about anything". Um, well, no, I don't in this situation. I am right, but I just don't feel like saying it again.
We get parked, we get to check in, plenty of time on the clock, we get to security. I pass out the boarding passes, inform him he needs his ID out, needs to take off his shoes and Georgias shoes. Ya, I know this is general info most people know, but he doesn't travel all that often. Meanwhile I am trying to get the stupid infant seat folded up to go through the dumb scanner and hold an infant at the same time, while taking off my shoes, bags, etc. Success, we make it through, however he decided to stop and get dressed at the other side of the conveyor belt, causing a bit of a traffic jam instead of grabbing his stuff and moving to a bench. Whatever, whatever, we made it, and here we are sitting at our gate waiting for our plane with plenty of time to spare. Imagine that. So no big deal, a little stressful and annoying at times, but all good. The trip was great, Wedding was nice. Now its time to go home. So, I check us in online the day before, easy peasy, we just need to go to the counter and check our bags. The way home was a bit more crowded. While waiting in the security line my mom calls and asks me if I need his bag he left there. Um, you mean the one with ALL the diapers in it? ya, ya I need that bag. But there is no turning back at this point, we must just press on. I'll figure it out after we get through security. "Are you as panicked about this as I am!?" he asks. No, whats the point of freaking out if I can't change it, I am sure they sell diapers. But he takes matters into his own hands and starts asking every TSA worker if they sell diapers. So after we get through security, I tell him to take Georgia and go ahead I will meet them at the gate because I had to basically get dressed again. He gets about 30 feet away and there is some sort of security breach and TSA stops everyone in the terminal, like freeze frame style. So I figure this can't last for long, but what do I hear? A lady yelling at someone to stop, and then all the people in blue shirts pointing at this guy who won't stop walking.....ya, thats him, my husband. He comes back over to me and says, I wasn't going to stop, I dont know whats going on and I dont want to be separated from my family! Endearing yes, but I was like, Great! now we get to go sit in an interrogation room for the rest of the evening with 2 screaming diaperless kids! After a brief argument with security and the good grace of having 2 sweet young children they let us on our way. They do sell diapers in the giftstores FYI, you would think they were made of the finest silk for what the charge, but when weighed with the threat of a poo, they are priceless.
So, now we get to our crowded gate again and the baby is crying, the toddler is crying, the daddy is almost crying. Yaaaay traveling. It was like having 3 kids. And I dont mean this to be a dig at my husband, he really is great. He is fearless, strong, smart, and keeps calm in a crisis. You lose a finger? No problem, cool as a cucumber he can stop the bleeding. Your house is burning? Its ok, he will go in there and try to stop that burning. But taking him to the airport is a whole different story. He loses all ability to problem solve, the situational awareness is out the window. It is a strange and intriguing transition from man to farm animal. Its like the revolving door into the airport sweeps him into bizarro world.
But I dont love him less for this. I love him more for trying, admitting defeat and surrendering to letting me take control. And I know he loves me more, because there is no way in hell he could do it without me. AND, he makes me laugh, especially when I think of him yelling at a TSA lady telling her he did not call her an idiot.

Due, and then overdue

2011-10-01T14:20:00.000-07:00

So Im 3 days over the day a doctor said the baby would come out. I have to say, a due date is kind of a crappy thing. I feel like if they had said, oh, you will have your baby somewhere between this day and this day, I would feel less anxious about being "overdue". I think because we are all programmed to be on a schedule and things have to happen at a specific time on a specific day in all other aspects of life, but babies don't know this. So, when this, this HUGE thing doesn't happen when you think it is supposed to, its maddening. Mostly because Ive been ready to get this kid out for the last month or so. The last part of pregnant sucks a whole lot worse than the first part. I would trade morning sickness for the ability to bend over, exercise, climb stairs, and see my ankles, and sleep on my tummy. I do know its any time, any day at this point, but now I really feel like I am drifting out to sea because there is no goal anymore, the goal came and went. Now I find myself thinking....well, maybe not today because i can get this and this done. Tomorrow might not work either because I would really like one more night of sleep and stuff. But the matter of the fact is, my skin can't handle it anymore, it is literally busting at the seams, actually it didn't have seams and now it does. I am just waiting for it to completely split open like balloon. Pleasant thoughts of an overdue pregnant lady. I had Georgia 3 days early. Funny how life teaches you that you can really plan or expect anything, that you are not in charge of much, especially nature. I am loving the last few days of being 100% Georgia's mom, she is such a jewel that it is hard to think about how I am going to have eyes for anyone else. But I will find out soon, hopefully sooner than I think. In the meantime, eating pineapple, eggplant and sweat inducing spicy food. Chances are I am just going to give birth to some really uncomfortable gas. yaay.

still waiting

2011-09-20T05:48:00.000-07:00

Aright kid, I get it, you are a big deal. You have captured all the attention of people around waiting for you to show yourself. Here is the problem, the longer you stay in, the bigger you get, and the harder it will be to get you out. Maybe you are waiting for us to pick you a name? Well, thats not going to happen until I see your face, so lets get on with it. I have technically quit working, on cakes, but I find myself looking for all sorts of things to do and making lists of things that I think absolutely need to get done. The house is spotless, always vacuumed, there is no laundry waiting to be done. I am so afraid I am going to run off to the hospital only to come home to a hamper full of clothes, an empty pantry or wasted produce in the fridge. Ya, thats the scariest part of having this baby. Makes a ton of sense. I found myself setting my DVR to make sure all of my shows are recorded, because I wouldn't want to miss any episodes of the new fall season. I sure hope my room has a nice tv in it. Its 5:30am and I am up feeding my face and enjoying my peace and quiet and I know in a week I will be up at this time and every other hour and a half trying to feed the new guy, wishing I could just go back to sleep. But no, I can't. I can't turn the brain off. Ive been awake since 4:30 trying to design a cake in my head. trying to decide how many things I can cram into my day, since it could possibly be my last day as a mommy of 1. Oh the anticipation, its just killing me.

Things that won't last long....

2011-09-02T19:38:00.000-07:00

First of all, being pregnant, even though it feels like I will be this way forever and have been this way forever. Yet, I fear becoming not pregnant because as wonderful as a new baby is, all things will change once again and part of me doesn't want anything to change ever.
My daughter dancing and twirling in the living room, falling and laughing. I love that she always says, come on mom, dance with me. It won't last. I know eventually she will figure out people are watching and be embarrassed. I love that she wants to wear my t-shirts to bed....even though she wakes up and its halfway off or her head is through the arm hole. This won't last, too soon she will think my clothes are dumb. I love holding her hand, its so small and soft and wants to be in mine. She gallops when she runs, she starts jumping when she needs to poop. She likes to pick the vegetables from the garden and put them in her little shopping cart, then pretend to eat them. Best of all she likes to lay in bed with me, snuggling me. She pinches my neck and or knuckles like crazy. This by far is the weirdest and most annoying soothing technique I have heard of, and I actually wonder if it will ever stop sometimes, but I am sure it will. I love the way words sound when she says them, especially for the first time. Current winners are "whats wrong mom?" and "water". W's and R's are tough sounds to learn. She just started saying, "Im fine, Im fine mom", when she falls or bumps herself. This cracks me up. I am sad to think about when all the words just start streaming out perfectly. But hopefully the funny will still be there.
I love that she calls my sister Mama. I guess she figures, shes a mom, so I will call her mom. All other little girls are Gigi, and all little boys are called my their actual names. I think its funny how she will wack her baby-dolls head into something and then kiss it better. over and over.
Everything is exciting, dogs, cats, grandma and grandpa. I just love it, I love how much she loves to live.

month 9, FINALLY

2011-09-01T21:16:00.000-07:00

I never though September would show up. I never thought I could be more uncomfortable than I was with my first pregnancy, ahhhh but I am. Lets see, do I document my aches and pains so I can remember it when it start to fade in a few years? Well, why not. Lets start with the little bruiser himself, DOES NOT STOP MOVING. Which I guess is a good sign, it just doesn't feel like a good sign. Georgia never got under my ribs, never punched my pelvis and I didn't have any heartburn. My nerve in my back stopped hurting after a few months with her, still aching strong with this guy. My right hand is swollen, I can't sleep, it hurts to lay down. I have contractions alllll day long. Whenever I move, pee, laugh, stand up sit down, contraction. So, Im thinking this kid will come early. I dont want him early, I want a nice fat healthy baby right on time, but I was thinking sooner rather than later. But from the progress report from Doc today, nothin. 1 cm. Thats only 1/10 of how many I need. Its going to be the longest month of the year.
Even thought Ive done this once before, I am getting anxious about doing it again. Im not sure which is worse, not knowing about the pain, or knowing about the pain. Im still not sure what to do with a little boy. I hear its great! But I think I am more nervous about a boy than I am about just the labor of him.

2 years

2011-07-26T18:03:00.001-07:00

First of all, I love July, best things in my life keep happening in July. We just celebrated our 3rd anniversary and I am happy to say I am just as happy to be married as I was happy to be getting married 3 years ago. Its always up and down and balancing this with that and talking about this and trying not to be pissed about that. But when we actually stand still and look at it all in a big picture its really a fantastic life. Especially when we both look at what we made by getting married and making a person. G is turning 2 years old tomorrow and for all the work and pain I went through getting her here it was the best day of my life. Its unbelievable to see how this person has grown and developed in 2 years. She went from just eating and sleeping to now asking me "where'd the kitty go?", telling me everytime she sees something that looks like a robot, falling down and then yelling I ok! and on and on. Everyday its something new and of course super funny.
I didn't know I was the kind of person who would get excited about the things a little kid does, but I do and I love it. Its incredible, the more I get to know who she is and who she is going to be the more in love with her I fall. This afternoon in the matter of 8 minutes we went from a ice cream cone on the back porch to drinking from the hose, to a completely naked baby, to spilled cream of wheat on the floor and then back outside to then pour her melted ice cream on the screen door. Pretty much sums up my day, or my week or whatever. All I can do is laugh at the end of it all and think about how much I have loved the last 2 years of my life, even on the days I am pretty sure I hate it. Happy Birthday baby girl!

fast and slow

2011-07-08T21:55:00.000-07:00

Time is always at a different pace, and its all just the perspective you are looking at it. The past 2 years has gone really fast, but that is because I have been watching someone grow incredibly fast in 2 years. The past 6 months has felt very slow inside my body. But all of the sudden I look down and wonder where the heck this belly came from. When I was a kid, summer vacation, spring break, etc. all was sooo long, but now a week goes by in a blink. Im pretty sure the older I get the faster it goes and the more I want to slow it down. I constantly want to push pause on my daughter. Everyday is hilarious and amazing, but there are moments I am sad she isn't really my little baby anymore. Such a strange feeling. Being pregnant, I can't remember what it feels like to not have a person in my belly, but when not pregnant I can't remember what its like to have one in there.
Having him kick and twist and hiccup is such a strange sensation, but I love it, even when it kinda hurts, its one of those experiences that I just love. Its really the only bonding we get to do right now (other than sharing all my energy and nutrients). He pushes out and I push back. Its almost like, "high 5 mom". Its super bizarre, I still can't really wrap my mind around how he is fit in there, but its freakishly cool too. He will be out before I know it and I will have to figure out what to do with him then, real high 5's and stuff.

2

2011-06-17T19:35:00.000-07:00

Wow, so the rumors about a 2 year old are true! So this is fun...or at least funny. I think if I was on the outside looking in at me standing in the grocery store trying to reason with a little girl who is laying in the aisle I would probably laugh. But Im not laughing all that much as I am on more than one occasion trying to reason with a little girl laying on the floor, or the grass, or the dirt. I think the funny part is actually what I thought I would do before I ever had kids. Boy I sure had the answers. Where are those answers now hotshot? Useless, thats where. Oh just pick her up and take.......ya thanks I tried it. Guess what? She has to grow out of it. Yes yes, there is discipline, she gets in plenty of trouble and timeouts. But here is the thing, she is an actual person with her own free will and opinions, I guess I never considered that before. And as much as her dad and I don't like to be told what to do, I can only guess she feels the same way. So, thats how the day goes, good and bad and sometimes very bad. But then she turns around and says "come play mommy" and I am melted and all is forgiven. Poweful magic those little people have.

frank and beans.

2011-05-15T12:47:00.000-07:00

Its a boy. Wha? Seriously, what? Its almost been a week and I am still not so sure I believe it. I had kinda figured by 33 I had pretty much experienced the gamut of emotions a human can feel. Maybe not as intense as some people or dramatic as others, but pretty much seen a lot of different situations that require a lot of different emotions. But nope! Here is a new one everybody, having a boy grow inside of you when you totally thought it was a girl. I still dont think I can describe it right. Its everything all at once. Its excitment of a new baby, fear of what the hell do I do with a boy, saddness because I wanted a girl, frustration at the people who were right when I was wrong and confusion that I thought I knew my body better than that. All I could do was cry for like 3 hours. But Ive moved passed the crying and into acceptance. I even tried to go shopping for boy clothes. Guess what, I came home with 3 more cute outfits for my little girl. Boy clothes suck. They are dumb. I am aware that I am being a shit about the whole thing, but Im the pregnant lady so I am just going to be a shit until I feel like not. I think what I hate the most is everyone asking me if I am excited or telling me how exciting it is. Why don't you ask me how I feel about it before telling me how I should feel? This is going to sound real bad to the baby boy when gets old enough to read it one day. Baby boy, I love you, dont be upset, just use this as a guide for when it happens to your wife and you don't know why she is crying. But the one thing I am looking forward to is that my little boy will love me as much as mama's boys do and he will never leave me. He won't hate me as a teenager like my daughter will, he won't have hormonal outbursts like his sister will, and he will measure up all the ladies he dates to me, I am the standard. Poor girls. So basically I am just waiting. Waiting for him to get here so I can meet him and he can show me in person how much I am going to love him. I already know I would love a girl, because having one has been amazing so far and I wanted to experience that again. But I just have to trust all those others who have gone before me who swear by a little boy, he will be great.

I guess its just me.

2011-05-04T12:47:00.000-07:00

I love awful. I revel in the things that many turn their noses at. This just dawned on me today when I was looking around Itunes to find some music for choreography for my ballet classes. I found a david hasselhoff cover of john denver. And I smiled, then I listened to it and I laughed and I thought, this is going to be a great day! And it IS a great day so far. Then it made me think of Jimmy Buffet. I don't own a darn Buffet song but man do I luuuuv to listen to it. Im not totally delusional, I know turds when I hear them. But I just don't know why I love those turds when I hear them, or see them for that matter. This took my thoughts to a picture I saw once of a starbucks cup that someone crapped in and took a picture of. It still makes me laugh like its christmas morning. Or another favorite memory, A beautiful day in Paris, a steamy pile of horse poo and a picture taken with a roll of mentos next to it. Im so glad I had someone to laugh at it with, those people who get you and your sense of humor are priceless. My daughter laughs when she hears a fart, so I think the gene has been passed on. God bless her to find those other people out there that thinks farts are funny too.

Impressed

2011-04-25T08:27:00.000-07:00

I have a lot more respect for myself if I was doing things as clever as my daughter is when I was her age. But I have to doubt it, I have a feeling she is a more refined sharper version of me. Today she found a coloring book and found the cookie monster page. Next thing I know she took off upstairs, came back a minute later with a blue crayon. Why was this act so impressive to me? Because I still think of her as a baby and she can't possibly know what crayon is the same color as cookie monster? So Im sitting here being impressed with my little creation, watching her scribble for a few minutes and the next thing I know she comes over and hands me the half eaten crayon and spits the rest into my hand. THAT must be the half that is her dad. So, my moment passed, my exceptional child is back to being a regular 21 month old.
She is such an individual, I often don't remember that she is genetically half me and half him. She is her own person, who randomly resembles one of us on occasion, but I dont recognize it like others do. But then something will happen and I see bits of me that I clearly gave her and it is such a funny feeling. We were at an Easter egg hunt the other day, and of course my pretty little frilly girl dropped the basket and took off to the rock wall on the play structure. Up she went, all the way up and over the top. I thought, I guess I won't sell my climbing gear.
So, making people is pretty fun. Its an unbelievable amount of work, sometimes I think I am nuts for making another one, but then you get those little jewels of moments and you can't wait to see what you will make next. I can't imagine making anything different than the first one, but then again I can't imagine duplicating such a funny unique character. One that is currently watching her reflection dance in glass on the fireplace.

Grump gripe.

2011-03-20T16:27:00.000-07:00

So, is it normal to have an aversion to kids when you are pregnant? I have no desire to hold a baby, or play with kids. This sounds awful, and actually makes me feel awful. Its not all the time, but every once in awhile I feel like I am in the desert and there are flies all over my face and I want to freak out...the flies being children. So I am going to chock this one up to hormones. Many walls of tact are down right now. I apologize to anyone who feel offended by my a-holey pregnancy temperament. I am pretty sure it changes. I still love my baby girl. She does totally get all fly like up in my face on occasion, but she is mine, therefore tolerable. Its like when someones feet stink, it doesn't seem to bother the owner of the feet so much. I am totally aware that my child can and does have this effect on other people. Can't you make your kid sit still?! Nope, no I can't. And I don't have much energy to try. In fact if I get up and all mommy sergeant on her, there is a chance you will call the police on me. So pick your battles people with hyper kid awareness and low tolerance.
All of this may be stemming from the fear that I will not be able to love 2 children. I am hoping this is normal too. I just love one sooooo much, how could I possibly love anyone else this much? I know people do, thats why they have more kids I guess. It seems as if it is one of those life lessons that you have to learn by doing it, no one can tell you how it really is. This is the same for giving birth the first time, you just can't explain it to someone who hasn't done it. Its like trying to describe a color to a blind person. So, I am the blind person and I have no idea what it looks like to have 2 kids. A little stressed about it, excited, cause the first time was pretty cool, but nervous.
Ok, enough being grumpy today. Time to go put on my parka and boots and go out and enjoy this glorious, windy, rainy, first day of spring. hmm.

Wow.

2011-02-18T11:33:00.000-08:00

Its been a while. So many things happen everyday I think I need to document this, and then the day is over and its a new day. Its incredible how fast kids change. I thought she was such a big girl six months ago, now I can't really remember her not talking and running, jumping, climbing and begging for cupcakes. She sees a fondant bucket and starts to salivate, she knows there is cake around somewhere. Cake? please? Please? PLEASE!? etc etc. I keep thinking, I can't remember what its like to have a little baby, I do know that was the easy part. Well, the universe was paying attention and is sending another little baby to remind me. I have T minus 8 months to figure out how to do it with 2. Will I love the next one as much as the first one? I have NO idea, it scares the crap out of me. G is such an amazing little person, what if the next one isn't? What if its boring and sad? I guess that would be all my fault huh? Can I give the same amount of attention to both of them or is one going to get jipped? Oh ya, I hate being pregnant, I totally remember this part very clearly. The only part I remember liking was around 5 months, I was still pretty comfortable, I could feel her moving, which at the time wasn't painful or uncomfortable, just cute and exciting. But oh the beginning. These hormones are a form of torture. Come to think of it, why aren't they used as a form of torture? Waterboarding? Really? Try a shitload of estrogen. You will get very sleepy, like you would be comfortable sleeping in a coffin in the oven sleepy. So tired you actually consider just peeing your pants because you aren't sure if you have the energy to get up and go to the bathroom, nor do you have the energy to care. Then your intestines will be completely scrambled. You will be so bloated an oversized t-shirt feels constricting. Your boobs will hurt just because. A sharp headache at random times of the day. And the best, nausea. ALL DAY LONG. And sometimes when you wake up in the middle of the night. At any moment a random smell will hit your nose and send you into gags. If you don't eat it gets worse, so you are simultaneously starving and nauseous. You try to cook, but after smelling what you cook you can't eat it. Maybe a bowl of cereal? Sure if you want to deal with the gas it creates. How about a bagel. yes. 4 today so far. Luckily i have had the experience to know that it will all be worth it. But, if you are one of those ladies that had a symptom-less pregnancy, please don't tell me about it.

So behind, I might be first.

2011-01-23T20:53:00.000-08:00

This mommy gig is continually kicking my ass. However I wouldnt prefer it any other way, I have a pretty great ass kicking daughter. The last few months flew by and I did not document. boo mom, boo. Thanksgiving. I was very thankful, I have no complaints. Georgia got too tired and spent Thanksgiving dinner upstairs screaming so I could eat my meal without dodging flung potatoes. I love that meal, however, I often day dream about a different kind of meal. Maybe brisket, maybe fajitas. Why does it have to be turkey? I don't love turkey.
Christmas was fantastic. I was soo excited to not be travelling anywhere. It was the first time I felt like the holiday was actually mine, I got to make all the decisions. I was most pumped about my promotion to Santa, what a fabulous job. I totally embraced decorating, baking, holiday music, dressing my daughter like an elf. The whole thing was fun. She was way more into the bows and boxes than the actual toys, had to eat mid opening and then had to nap it off. I cherished my rare christmas morning that I actually woke up way before my kid.
New Year. I hate New Years Eve, its dumb, so I just skip to the new year. It started off great. The nice thing about having a baby around is there is no time to worry about resolutions and stuff because of course I have to do things differently and I am busting ass just to make sure things stay the same around here.
Georgia is getting funny, well more so than yesterday. She is starting to talk, and unbelievably getting busier. 2 words that are clear as day, Cookie and Cake. Followed by Elmo, ernie, big bird, and thank you and MOM. That means "I want that", "dad", "pick me up", "im hungry", "turn on the movie", etc etc. So basically the word mom means everything, and that isn't going to change for the rest of my life, at least I think so, based on my personal usage of the word mom.

Thanks a lot.

2010-11-26T20:30:00.000-08:00

Turkey. I really don't have fond feelings for the meat. I use ground turkey in place of ground beef a lot, but roasting a turkey, its just not that satisfying. I would prefer a chicken, or a steak. This sounds un-thankful. Don't get me wrong, I am so blessed and thankful for all the food that is available to me, and that my parents are still around to prepare it for me to eat. But what would happen if we ate something else? Would we be less thankful? What if all I wanted was to make pie and eat pie? I would be happy with a chicken pot pie followed by a pumpkin pie and a chocolate cream banana pie. I often wonder if anyone ever eats this meal other days of the year just cause they love it so much. I think my grandpa would.
Yesterday was Georgia's first real thanksgiving. Last year she was just laying on the floor. This year I put her at the table, fork and spoon and.....she threw a fit. She didn't nap all day and was so tired she was done. So she spent dinner upstairs yelling. Ahhhh. OH well. She made up for it tonight by eating her weight in left over turkey and potatoes and 2 pieces of pie. She ate cranberry sauce and made a sour face the whole time, however it didn't stop her from eating it.
Which brings me to black friday. I get it, I get the whole discount gettin' frenzy. However, I have worked enough retail to know that everything that is on mega sale today, will be on mega sale in a few weeks, just before christmas, and then again for new years. I do not ever see the benefit of asses and elbows in a store when I can get the same thing in a few weeks for the same price without getting up at 3am to do it. But I guess I do miss out on the rush of the shopping conquests. I just cherish these last few days of November, I dont like to rush christmas. I will start on Dec. 1st and by Dec 20th I will be so sick of it all I will be in a rush to get xmas over.
Yet another installment of my wandering random blog. I am thankful to make it to 33, have an amazing girl, super husband, warm house, car that works, health insurance, food, shoes and lots of people that love me.

leftovers

2010-10-24T17:30:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I don't really know what the actual point of this blog is. Mostly it is just to talk about my baby girl. You love reading about her right? Well it is actually more of a diary for her to read at some point, or for me to read again when I am old and my brain is completely fried out and can't remember what it was like to have a baby. I do want to remember that I was a really good cook. Ya, baking shmaking, thats old news. I really enjoy cooking. Mostly because I can just do it, there is not a ton of prep, measuring recipes blah blah. If you know how to cook, then thats all you need, you can just cook whatever is around. This week I made $5 chicken turn into like 10 meals. Day one, roast chicken. Day 2, chicken and dumplings, (now freeze chicken cause Im sick of eating chicken) meal 3, chicken pot pie, and finally chicken stock, meaning endless meal possibilities. I love you little chicken, you make everything good. Even if I gag a little when cleaning your sick little bones. So, why pastry school? I hate dealing with meat, and it hasn't changed, I just suffer through the prep because meat is so good. But I do have to give the ol' mirepoix a shout out. Carrots, celery and onion, from there you can do anything, ie: see all meals listed above.
This week I decided to be organized and follow a 5 day recipe plan, get all my shopping done and be all set all week as to what I will be cooking. Problem #1, there are only 2 of us that are eating full meals, G just eats bits, it doesn't count as a whole person. So I have a shite load of leftovers. Problem #2, my husband's schedule. He doesn't eat dinner here 5 nights in a row. So I have some produce in the fridge that is aching to be used and I am pushing a week and a half on my 5 meals. Problem #3. I hate following recipes and to reinforce my dislike of recipes, last nights dinner. I followed it to the word and it sucked. I know I could have made the same thing but delicious if I had just winged it. (Martha, you know I love you, but I was a little pissed at you last night as I could have played dodgeball with that stupid roast. 425?! What were you thinking?)
And lastly (maybe) prob #4, I really like pizza and no pizza scheduled for a week. Thank God we went out for my mom's birthday and I was able to order some pizza.
So, I think I will edit the plan a little next week. I will make my own menu for the week, shop for 3 of the meals at a time and take a pizza break. Because between you and me, I love grocery shopping. I love it, I would go to the store everyday if I had a reason to. I have been trying to think of a reason to go to whole foods today. I dont really need anything, except for the excitement and satisfaction of looking at food on shelves and how pretty their produce section always is. Maybe I need a little wedge of foreign cheese.

Its all mine again...

2010-09-22T22:16:00.000-07:00

My body, its no longer supplying nutrients to another human. G has been off the boob for 6 days now and we are both still alive. I had no idea that ending it was almost as difficult as beginning it. It doesn't matter what is happening on the outside, there is a hurricane of hormones happening on the inside. Crazy. I thought, oh, I think I am done with this, shes not so interested, only eating once at night. So I can just stop right? Well my brain knows that, but the memo takes a while to get to the boobs. So physically, it was a little exhausting, but emotionally, it was tougher than I thought. I really mourned the loss of my little baby needing me for that. It was like I was packing her up for college. (Keep in mind the hormonal hurricane) I was really sad that she is growing so fast and that was really the only time I could hold her quietly and still and that time went too fast. I am still surprised by how much I love her everyday. Everyday she is funnier, cuter and smarter than the day before. When does that change? I know for a fact I am not cuter or smarter everyday, and my funny is just staying the same. Anyway, I am feeling pretty good about being a "single" lady, meaning, I am just eating for one again. I can maybe start some exercise that bounces again. I put away all of those neat bras that have hidden flaps, they were really sexy. I am happily returned to my caffeine and all other substances I have been ignoring since conception. Especially benedryl, my goodness how i love benedryl. You make me sleep so nice benedryl. I have nothing really to say, I just wanted to document when I quit breastfeeding, 14 months. Good work boobies, you made a really smart kid.

mini-van, yes i can.

2010-09-09T11:38:00.000-07:00

The mini-van hater movement is a strong one. The majority of people, scoff at the thought of driving a mini-van. No one dreams of it, no one thinks, yes, I can't wait until I get to the point in life I can drive a minivan. But the reality is, lots of people want to be at the phase of life where minivans are a necessity. Married, kids. Lets face it, most young girls dream of the day all of the stress of finding a husband is behind them. They just dont think about all the factors of this part of your life. Married? ya, its good, glad i took my time getting here. I like being here. Ive seen many parts of the world, lived in a few different cities, had a couple careers, dated a few "I know I don't want to marry you or anyone like you"s, and dated no one and spent lots of time alone and all on my own. Now Im here, married for 2 years now, baby, house, yard...minivan. I went through the part of life thinking I would never drive a minivan, why would I need to? There are lots of other vehicles that will do the same thing. But I do, and I love it. YES, I love it. Its easy and right now, anything easy is my favorite. No, I didn't think I want a minivan babe, please lets buy one. It was more of a theres a really nice one, bending over to get the baby in is killing my back and I can hardly fit the damn stroller in the back of this subaru, so lets trade for it. And there we were driving away in our van. The seats are comf, I can easily reach the baby while keeping a hand on the wheel and an eye on the road. I can open the doors with a finger while my hands are full of bags and babies. I can control the temperature all over, so cakes in the back are very cold, yet I am toasty. A whiny baby is quickly soothed with the drop down dvd screen and elmo. Head phones on her and I can still listen to the radio. I can see her clearly in the mirror that gives me a clear view of whats happening back there. Face it, the car was designed by a mom for a mom. It has endless cup holders, hidden compartments and seat heaters. So yes, I still run into the ladies that curl their lip when I pull up in my shuga-wagon, and to them I say you dont know what you are missing. When you are on the inside it doesn't really matter what it looks like on the outside. And no, I dont care what you think of my car because I am saving money on gas, instead of driving a huge SUV, so I can buy these cute shoes you are looking at. This won't last forever, nothing ever does. Its the minivan phase of life, I have no complaints. In fact the thought of making my teenage girl drive an old minivan makes me laugh already.

Hardest job ever

2010-08-14T20:38:00.000-07:00

I bet you thought I was going to say being a mom huh? Well, NO. I found a harder job. Being a fireman like my husband? Nope, harder. Working at Miracle Ear. WHAT??? MIRACLE EAR!! Last week I took my grandpa in because his "ears" weren't working. We get there, sweet little smiley girl behind the desk, currently on the phone with a customer also. She is the only one working this afternoon. At first I think, wow, I think its kinda rude that she doesnt get off the phone when someone walks in. But then I see that she takes my granpas aids and heads back to work on them, while on the phone and repeating things over and over. A few minutes later she comes back, phone keeps ringing. She is smiling and saying "yes Alice, thats great....THATS GREAT. How about Monday at 11am. MONDAY AT 11 AM. Ok, I have another call coming in.......uh huh, oh really, thats nice, ok, I have another call.....I HAVE ANOTHER CALL...
she takes the other call and it goes about the same as the last one. Then She tells Jim that she cleaned his Aids and changed the battery. He looks at her and says What? She says it again, then What? I had to intervene here, "grandpa put your ears in so you can hear what she is saying". Oh. Well, this one still isn't working, did you change the battery? you need to change the battery. I checked it and the battery was fine Jim. Well its not working, you need to put a new battery in it. Ok, well let me go look at it again. She comes back and starts to explain that there is a wax spring that was pushed too far down. What? says grandpa. Me: PUT YOUR EARS IN GRANDPA. explanation of wax spring take 2. Finally, all is well in the ear canal. Ok, lets go. Oh hey, this is my granddaughter Erin. She lived here while she went to Weber State. "oh, nice to meet you". She got a degree in art. then she went to work for.....for.....who did you work for up there? Hollywood Video Grandpa. Oh ya, Hollywood. She did all the big signs and marketing stuff for em. Ok, lets go gramps. THEN she quit and went to cooking school to learn cakes. Guess how much a wedding cake goes for?! girl: oh I dont know, $300-$500. (not a surprising question or answer for people who have gotten married in the last 50 years) Yep, thats right, ok lets go gramps, shes busy. No shes not! Yes she is, the phone is ringing she doesnt have time to sit and talk. Sure she does, she isnt busy she just wants to go home.
No kidding Grandpa.
So, this is the hardest job I have ever witnessed. I would have never given it a thought, as a matter of fact I didn't think of it as a job. She isn't the ear doctor, she is like the receptionist/ hearing aid technician. So All day everyday her customers are deaf and most likely old. Maddening.

One year!

2010-07-29T22:28:00.001-07:00

I did it, I had a baby and grew it for a year. No major issues, I can remember anyway. She consistently grew, which is good, growing is good for a baby. She figured out how to crawl, then walk, go up stairs, "be soft" with the kitty, say hello, mama, dada, buffy. She can point to whatever she wants, makes a few hand signs. Runs to the tv when she hears any muppet talking. She can find the beat to music and give me a very dramatic modern dance. I especially like the double roll on the floor with a head swish. She loves water. Drinks it like a fish, loves to shower, bathe, swim, and stand in the sprinklers. She even stands under the hanging basket when it is getting watered. We have successfully welcomed 10 teeth, those are a lot of work. She has survived 2 colds and one ear infection. She has seasonal allergies but is too young for medication. She gags when she sees the vitamin drops (so do I, sick). She LOVES to eat.....anything. Lots of avocado, bananas, squash, whatever, its always a surprise during farmers market season. Hummus is in the top 10, tofu, peas, and McDonalds fries. Cake, buttercream, cookies and popsicles. I dripped some batter on the floor and before I turned around to clean it she had bent over and licked it up. I dont know where she learned that. Another thing she learned that I did NOT teach her is to beat her hand over her mouth, Im not sure how to describe this other than using the term "like an Indian". So I was having this conversation with a friend about her deep tan, she commented, oh you should see my mom, she's an Indian and what perfect time for Georgia to pull out her new trick. The first of many embarrassing moments for mom I am sure. I was so glad she said Indian.
Needless to say, this kid is pure entertainment. I love it. Everyday is fun because of her, even the rough days. Had you asked me what to expect out of being a mother I wouldnt even come close to what it actually is. All I know is that it takes all of you, not just part of you. All day, all night the rest of my life. Im a mom, and its not like saying Im a baker, its like saying I have blue eyes. I cant remember me without her, like she has always been there, somewhere. Its just pure love and its awesome. I love my life more, I love my husband more, I love my family more. Seeing things through her makes the mediocre exciting. Watching her see the moon for the first time or watching her play on the beach, makes me excited about these things I haven't even noticed or thought about till now. Thanks baby girl, its been a good year.

Whatcha watchin?

2010-07-11T15:31:00.000-07:00

Tv. I have less time to watch tv, busy cake season, busy baby, but I still loooove it. And look at that picture, clearly my little darling shares my favorite form of entertainment. I am sitting here watching more reruns of the hills, like its going to get any better the second time around. If anything it just feeds my hate of these shallow awful people living in LA. But I love to hate them, so its all good. It sure makes me love my plain ol' life out in the burbs. YET, Im married, Im a mommy but I still have the need to be pretty. Does that make sense? I have to be able to look at myself in the mirror and not gag. this is when I feel a little "hillsy". Since I dont have the reasons to get dolled up as much as I used to, I force myself to doll up for the every-day. With little turd at my feet and totally destroying my bathroom as she waits for me to put on my face, this is the most exhausting part of my day. Its hard to put on eyeliner with a kid shaking my leg. And beauty hurts. I get why people "let themselves go", because it feels good. Or at least the hurting stops. No plucking, waxing, flat ironing, whitening, exercising, sweating. Im getting older, I can't believe it either, Im pretty sure Im still 25 and everyone else just thinks Im 32. But funny thing is sometimes I think other people probably think I look 25. No, no they dont. So I said, "self, enough with the razor and waxing, lets get laser hair removal." Ok, I did it. that hurt worse than anything I have attempted yet. the sucky part is, I have to do it again, like 4 times. It hurt so bad all I could do was laugh in utter awe at the pain. It does not feel like a rubberband snap, maybe if the rubberband is stretched about 2 feet and its on fire. geeze. Im so not looking forward to the boob job I am going to have to get after my kids destroy those as well. But man I feel pretty today!

Hey Toddler.....

2010-07-01T22:43:00.000-07:00

Oh my, I had no idea. Today I had a solemn realization and respect of all of those other mothers out there that I had once rolled my eyes behind. My kid was the one screaming for no reason in a crowded bakery, my baby girl was kicking and wiggling to get down and my sweet little baby was the one who took an avocado out of my bag and demolished it and painted the window in the bakery with it. It happened so fast, not just the whole avocado scene, but the whole I had a baby and it grew into a small human thing. I never knew a year of my life could pass literally in the blink of an eye. Easier? no way, babies get harder the older the get. G can walk now, on the verge of running and does NOT want anything to do with me holding her. God Bless the little rogue, I love her spirit, but my patience is a continual state of testing. To crown the glory of the crawling baby phase, she is getting in molars and judging by the way she hollars and crying and whines it probably feels a lot like a HUGE tooth ripping through your gums and sending pain up into your head. She still finds time during the day to make me laugh though. She waves like a little float queen and flirts and is shy, all these funny emotions I just can't get enough of. I think my favorite is the fact that this week she picked up her grover and carries him around slung over her shoulder and pats his back. Darn cute. She turns 1 in a month and I can't believe it, I love her so much and have loved this year of my life more than any so far. But I am so proud of myself for surviving a whole year of doing something I didn't know I could do, or if I would be able to do it. Some days I was pretty sure I couldn't but I wasn't really sure where I could take the baby and how I would explain it to my husband. Everyday is full of stories, I wish I could have the time to sit and type them all down however any of my free minutes are now spent cleaning up the path of destruction left behind by my little tornado.

Paddy Says

2010-05-07T21:09:00.000-07:00

Patrick, my husband, loves to tell me "you should blog about this", when the occasion occurs. I think this is funny, because he doesn't read the blog, he just likes giving me content ideas, little does he know how much content he actually gives me. But I will save most of my hubby talk for another blog. So this one is for you my dear.
First, he had surgery last week. Worst week ever. Poor guy had to have a bunk salivary gland removed from his neck/jaw. Thank God it was benign, but it has been a long few months wondering about it. You take life as it is handed to you, but it is harder to think that way when someone is really really worried about life handing you cancer and reminding you everyday. Anyway, we are at the hospital waiting to go into surgery and he is all gowned up and IV'd and decides to go to the bathroom, I see him walk out in the hall open the bathroom door, then immediately shuffle backwards out. So there is was girl in there who didn't lock the door. He came running back to the room and we both started laughing hysterically, what i like to call church laugh. He told me he saw this girl in there and so he closed his eyes and said "sorry" and backed out of the room with his eyes closed. It was a good tension breaker.
I have a personality "flaw" that I tend to joke or look for the funny in EVERYTHING. I may have even been that girl who found something to laugh at at her grandmas funeral. This works great for me and my family, we share the trait, however, not everyone else thinks this is good. Needless to say my husband didn't like the jokes about his frankenstein incision. I heard a quote once from my favorite songwriter John Prine, he said "things only get so bad before they get funny". I really think this is so true. Most of lifes awful situations tend to lead me to laughing when I am at the bottom of it looking up. The only time it didn't work out so well is when I was the one in stitches after abdominal surgery and laughing hurt worse than being sawed in half.
So my favorite funniest story ever is about my brother when he had the stomach flu, this makes me laugh at all times of the day. We were in Seattle and stopped for some dinner on our way back, it was a quick trip, late at night so we stopped at Dennys. He was enjoying a plate of Moons over MyHammy when he said, I don't feel very good. Oh well, it passed. We left to pay up front. I went to the bathroom and when I came out he was gone. So I just waited and waited. Finally he came out of the bathroom, kind of a gray color to his face and urgently told me to get out. So we get in the car and he tells me that as he was paying the cashier he felt nauseous. So he turns around to see where the bathroom is and there is a waiting bench full of people eager to sit and eat. He fully open mouth gags at them. Then turns back around and gags at the cashier. Then he feels the urgency and throws down bills and runs. Once in a stall he pukes firehose style in the toilet and looking down notices the foot in the stall next to him scooting away as to not catch any splash of vomit, and then hears the feverish twirling of the toilet paper to make a hasty exit. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I love that story. So ya, I laughed at him, and still am like 8 years later. But I did stop and get us a hotel room so he could be sick and lay in a bed. Im not a total monster. Anyway, what goes around comes around, Georgia puked on my neck last night and pooped on me twice today. Oh Karma, you and I share a similar sense of humor.

oh, hello

2010-04-19T20:02:00.000-07:00

I can totally understand how the first child has millions of pictures and the other children may have a few here and there on birthdays. I spend about 75% of my day chasing a baby around, picking her up, cleaning her fresh cat scratched face today, feeding, changing, etc. See, I was under the impression it was hard at first, ya know, getting used to having a kid and once you got the hang of it, it was easier. Nope, harder. Its like running a marathon, but the race started out down hill and then goes up a very steep hill. The good news is the baby is becoming a person and in this case a hilarious person. She says "hello" this week, more like "hey- loooow", waves goodbye, for a good 5 minutes after the good-bye has occurred and stands up on everything. The idea of her actually walking keeps me awake at night.....ok, ok, she herself actually keeps me awake at night, but walking is going to be a whole new ballgame. This is why some moms work outside of the home, it is nearly impossibly to work at home. Trying to answer emails and set up consultations takes 6x longer as I have a helper now to tear my paper into itty-bits and eat it. My favorite was when she pulled a cord and it was attached to the internet router and it fell on her head. Ow. Ha, sometimes its hard not to laugh when she falls. Its a personality flaw of mine, I laugh when people fall down, guess what, it doesn't matter if its my own kid. The difference is I pick her up and kiss her better. Hopefully this will turn out ok and teach her to laugh at herself and not backfire and cause her to have a major self-image issue and seek counseling for a mom that laughed at her. This weekend I made sure she got plenty of fiber, I set her in the grass while I did yard work. Grass can't hurt right? Dogs eat it.
I care very much for her nutrition. She eats organic, mostly food that I make her. Lots of vegetables, whole grains. I give her vitamins, lots of water, still mostly breastmilk.....and french fries, cheetoes, cake, cookies, rootbeer and all other delicious awful treats I eat. She loves to eat, I can't deny her anything if I am eating it. I guess this should help me make better choices when eating in front of the baby, but no, I love to eat too. Everything. She has now acquired 8 teeth to eat with and watching her chew food cracks me up too. So, I may be tired and out of shape but life is pretty entertaining right now.

catch up

2010-03-30T20:39:00.001-07:00

So babies grow fast huh? Baby girl is crawling all over town like she was born doing it. It all happened within days, she was scooting, crawling, now she is standing....and falling and running her head and face into everything. She has a good attitude about it, she never quits, even if she is crying she just keeps crawling into things. ha, hope she keeps that tenacity through the rest of her life. She is 8 months and I can't believe we are already closing in on a year, it just goes too fast. I would be slamming on the brakes if it was possible. The more things I am supposed to control the less control I have over things. Do you ever realize how little control you have over other's attitudes? Trying to be positive and happy can be exhausting. I tend to be glass half full, just because i figure if I am going to spend energy it might as well be positive energy and not waste energy on negative thoughts. But this does not catch on, people with bad attitudes can spread like a disease but happy doesn't. Isnt that defeating? I digress, my baby keeps me smiling, how could I not when I have a little person who claps everytime I walk in the room? Its like being on a sitcom.

Beginning of the end

2010-03-10T14:11:00.001-08:00

Baby girl has figured out the crawl. Yay she is progressing and growing, boo she is moving and I can't really turn my back on her. Like the lights turning on in my head all the harmless things in my living room have become possible danger....coffee table, perfectly pointy and even with her head. Baseboards, beautiful, white and angular. EVERYTHING has a corner, her beautiful little forehead is just asking for a bruise, split, scar. So, what to do? Nothin, Im procrastinating until she crawls faster and actually realizes she can move instead of just getting around from one toy to the other. Not a huge milestone, but I know someday she will ask me when she crawled and I won't remember, I can tell her to go read her book of blogs and see what I said.
7 months and crawling Georgia, 5 teeth and "mamamama" and "dadadaaadadaa" and "cat-t-t-t-t"

Fail

2010-03-08T21:19:00.001-08:00

I know kids get sick, so do adults, often. BUT I feel like a total failure as a mom when my baby gets sick. But it was like a Tsunami, I couldn't avoid the wave of germs overtaking the whole freakin county. Cousins were sick, Dad was sick, little girls at ballet were sick. So naturally mom and baby are sick now. I fought the good fight with vitamin d and elderberry, echinacea, lots of water (not a lot of sleep), but alas, it got me and it is kicking my ass. I read online, someone said breastmilk up your nose helps clear it up. NO, it doesn't.
Why? Why does a cold have to attack my face? Why can't it attack my arm or my thigh? I thought it was awful when just the baby was sick, but it is worse when I also have no energy to fight either. I think colds are the worst. I thought today, "I would rather be in labor right now". At least you know that labor will end in a day or so. And you get to take home a cute baby. A cold comes and goes whenever it wants, and it leaves you holding phlegm, a raw nose, a sinus infection, a nagging cough.
I can't smell anything. ANYTHING. I have vicks up my nose and I feel nothing. Baby pooped today, a lot of poop. I didn't smell a thing, went about putting her in a car seat, taking her out, putting her in a high chair, back in the car, let her nap. About the time I found it it had dried to her now raw skin. Awesome. I would look forward to bed if I knew it would bring any relief, but we all know it won't. I would like to flush this week in the toilet.

oh funny baby.....

2010-02-27T21:24:00.000-08:00

Holy Smokes, when did my newborn turn into a kid? I know everyone tells you it goes fast, but it really goes fast. I swear it was just last week I was praying to make it through another day of figuring out how to be a mom. Now i can't remember not being a mom. Baby girl is seconds away from crawling (forward) and all of the sudden all these big ol' teeth are in her mouth. 3 on top pushed through in a week. No wonder we don't sleep at night! Funny thing about her though, you would never know she was in pain during the day. She is the happiest little elf ever. She is just pure sunshine, everyone who meets her feels good, she spreads happy. I know this is something she came with on her own, I don't think I can take any credit for it. Other than my sweet diet during pregnancy. My husband told me next time I will eat "healthier". However, can you argue that the powdered donuts next to my bed to calm morning sickness didn't help create a sweet happy baby? Yes, I believe sugar makes a good baby. This is due to the idea that if mama is happy, baby is happy. I kept myself happy with sweets and happy meals. Uh huh, thats right, happy meals. They really do make you happy. I feel sorry for people who eat just to fuel the body, it really is enjoyable. This I have passed on to baby girl. She is so excited to eat, she attacks her spoon, just like I do. I didnt realize I did this until Patrick told me I did on our first date. How charming. What can I say? Food good.
Anyway, all good in the Fale hood.

Love

2010-02-12T20:30:00.000-08:00

Valentines day, love this holiday. Ok ok, I love any holiday that is themed around specific colors and treats. Its just so darn cute. My first first valentines day with my boyfriend, now husband, I made him a storage box full of baked goods....cupcakes, sandwich cookies, truffles...etc, every detail of the box was thought of, it was beautiful, and clearly it worked. Do I expect the same in return? No, never. Most of my satisfaction is in the creating of the valentine. I like a little creativity in return. I am not a big fan of someone buying me a giftcard on valentines day, I want a made valentine, a created one. My husband is super gifted when it comes to crafting, and I don't mean "crafts", I mean he is a craftsman. He built me a little coffee table for one of my apartments, he has built a beautiful fence, and an amazing copper wine rack, empty, but it is art on the wall. He has made all of my hanging book cases and he built the bed for the futon and converted my wood carved screen into a headboard.
He is a pretty cool dude, I am a lucky lady. And the sweetest thing so far is I got home from ballet and he had bought a card for me from him and one from the baby, however I am not allowed to open it until Sunday. So I have been crafting his valentines today, of course this as all the other holidays somewhat revolves around our new little love baby, but I think he will know how much I love him, and how much she loves him now and will always love her daddy.
My mom left town to see my sister, but of course dropped off some special chocolates and a plant for me. My whole life my mom has always been my best valentine. She is consistent and dependable, which is amazing because she is this to all 5 of her children, I am working on being this to just one. She is also a craftsman, in the craft of being a mother, it is truly a gift and one that needs studied and practiced.
I am so blessed to have so many people in my life that love me and that I love in return and that all these people love Georgia because she is mine. And she is just so darn cute, how could you not love her?

sweaty hands

2010-02-09T21:37:00.001-08:00

So, Georgia inherited some sweaty little hands and feet. A sweet sweet little baby girl with smelly feet, the contrast makes me laugh everytime I smell them. It sounds so gross, but its what moms do and it doesn't seem gross when I do it. Its my job to sniff my child to find anything smelly that needs cleaned. There are no limits to mothering, its surprising and humbling. I smell her cracks, I pick her nose, I wipe her butt, clean her ears, clip her nails, smell her clothes (hoping I can get another day out of a pair of pants that hasn't been barfed on) and look at her poo to make sure what she is eating is coming out, bananas, yep, thats bananas. The strangest part, I love it. When I rock her she puts her sweaty little hand up on my face and her sweet little fingers are so soft. I love those little hands on my face, in the middle of the night, in the afternoon, whenever. They have so much trust in them, they remind me that to this one little person I am everything. For just a few short years I am perfect. Soon she will see my flaws, recognize when I am tired or frustrated or irritated with her. But right now she only sees love, trust and safety. Its pretty amazing. I feel sorry for those moms who stress so much about their babies not sleeping on a schedule or doing things by a certain stage or not crawling yet, not walking yet, not talking yet. They are overlooking the best part of a baby actually being a baby. I am exhausted, not a solid night sleep in almost 7 months, but I would stay awake for weeks if I could keep those sweaty little hands on my face forever.

Janu-weary

2010-01-25T14:40:00.000-08:00

So sorry to say it, but so glad the holidays are over. I have found out that I have become a lover of the schedule. I love depending on the fact that I know whats happening when on what day everyday. Baby did this to me. Baby and television. They are my clocks. I know that if she is hungry, its been 3 hours since the last time she was. If I look up and see whats on tv, I know what time it is. Bold and Beautiful, its 12:30, I should eat something. Ellen is on, I should think about what to make for dinner..... Family Feud, I should be making dinner. News, I should go to bed now. The only time I lose track of time is when my husband is home watching the military channel, its the same show alllllll day everyday, who knows what time it is?!
What else is going on......Hmmm, my baby is so cool. She is rolling, I need to post that video cause its funny. She is thinking about crawling, I again am not supporting that decision. I am telling myself that in a few years I will read these blogs and think "hm, I dont really remember not sleeping at night". I made the mistake of making delicious broccoli cheese soup for dinner. So good, so gassy. My lil' girl was up what felt like every 10 minutes screaming and squirming. Ok, no broccoli for the next 6 months. Guess I will just stick to the pastries.
She is on some solid foods, I just feed her a little of what is on my plate so far. She likes the yams, squash and bananas. rice cereal is grimace inducing. She has found her voice and intends on being heard. She is a busy baby, but what did I expect, I married Mr. Busy.
I am so glad she was born in the summer, I was able to get out and enjoy the sun before the 7 years of rain hit. We had a sunny day this weekend and it was better than Christmas. I got to show G what outside looked like. :)

First this, first that

2009-12-30T13:34:00.001-08:00

Baby girl, 5 months old. Funnier every day of her life. We celebrated our first Christmas with little sunshine. She can make any stressful event fun. To her Christmas was Friday. She still needed to eat and bathe and get dressed and nap and eat again. She loves routine and habit, and life is easier if I submit and stick to her schedule. There was some playing and some paper eating, but overall, just another day in mommy world. Nothing stops the world from turning when you have a baby. It really keeps things in perspective and keeps one moving forward. This little lady is a blessing to us and a lesson in life we needed to learn. We can take ourselves as seriously as we want but at somepoint I will have poop on my hand or spit-up in my hair and it reminds me that its not a big deal. It all will wash, nothing is ruined, only seasoned with life. I am embracing my new job as Santa, already making plans for next year, its going to be fun. We had Christmas at the beach with Grammy Hall and Poppa Hall and Aunt Annie and B. We got lucky, it was sunny and clear at the beach, our little famil (P, me and G) went exploring on the beach and coast. I found out that my baby loves the ocean. Everytime a wave crashed she squealed and kicked. She loves to watch what is going on and everything around her, I am afraid she will give herself whiplash turning her head back and forth so fast to see it all. She and her dad got some good time to hang out and become Bff's.
Yesterday we had our first snow here, it was a wild hot mess outside but we are lucky enough to be home safe and warm. Dad on the otherhand is the one who is out there pulling people out of ditches, puttin out fires and making everyone happy when he shows up. I know I signed up to sacrifice my husband coming home at night so someone elses husband can get home at night. I am proud of him and his nature to do his job so well, he makes me a stronger person as well.

Im cold, shes got a cold.

2009-12-09T15:33:00.000-08:00

So its like 20 degrees outside. What is that? Not only is global warming making my summers too hot, its making my winters too cold. Our hot water pipe froze in the kitchen....in our brand new house....so we have no hot water there. No dishes can be washed....you would think I would quit with the cooking, no I am just boiling water to do the dishes. No wonder I am so worn out at the end of the day.
My baby girl is 19 weeks old, almost 5 months. Can't believe how time flies. Everyday she becomes more and more fun and interactive. She is so stinkin cute I can't handle it. She has her first cold. I feel so defeated. I was so proud of her and I for not getting sick yet, and then she woke up yesterday with a runny nose. I am trying to pinpoint where I was and who it was that touched her or got too close and gave her germs. I would like to yell at that person. But we all get sick and it was bound to happen, I just keep telling myself that it is good for her immune system to fight a cold to get stronger...right? I thought watching her get a shot was hard, but watching her cough and nose run and eyes water is heartbreaking. So life has stopped, we are just staying home out of the cold. Its a good reminder of enjoying the minutes in my life not trying to hurry through the day as a whole. I will miss these minutes and hours so soon in the future when baby doesnt want to stay on my lap.
Last week we went to see Santa. I was really hoping for one of those funny pictures of the baby who is terrified of Santa. Isn't that awful? Its no secret that my baby is a source of entertainment for me and I look forward to laughing at those moments when I shouldn't. However, not Gigi, she is too easy to get flustered by a huge warm bearded man. She just looked around like "ok, now what?" Too cute. Maybe next year she will cry. :)

Phew!

2009-11-29T15:57:00.000-08:00

So we made it through our first family holiday with the baby. LOTS of family and LOTS of food. But at the end of the day I am so thankful for such a large loving family. Its crazy, we are all crazy in our own way but we all have so much love for each other its nice to know we can all go home and there is no drama. My grandpa was here to meet Gigi for the first time, he told me she was way cuter in person than in the pics and I needed to stop taking pictures so close to her face. Grandpa is almost totally blind, but she really is so cute even the blind can see that. Props to my brother Mike for putting Gramps and Big Jean in the car for the 14 hour drive from Utah, and today driving them back, as well as the 2 little dogs.
On top of Thanksgiving madness, Ellie was baptized on Saturday and Gigi was blessed on Sunday, so lots of events but all remind me to be so thankful for what we have. The most exciting part of the weekend was Georgias little tooth popped through, her bottom right. I can't believe how fast she is growing, bittersweet for sure.
The other morning I had her in bed with me and she was waking. She started grunting and whining and I asked her "Are you hungry?" and she said "uh huh", clear as a bell! It was so funny Patrick woke right up and I was totally freaked out! I am sure it was totally chance and thats it, but she is an exceptionally brilliant baby....

where did the time go?

2009-11-17T21:05:00.000-08:00

My baby is getting bigger and I am getting busier and my thoughts and milestones are just flyin by without being recorded. I have figured out that once you give birth you actually lose hours in your day. 24 hours sounds like enough, but I need about 8 more to get it all done in one day.
Gigi is 4 months now, I feel like 3 months just flew by, that was supposed to be a big milestone and before i even got a picture taken she was 4 months. She is the sweetest baby in the world. She has a smile for everyone and everything, loves to giggle, eats her fingers and just found her toes too. She Luvs her reflection in the mirror, she can be angry as a tiger and I put her in front of the mirror and she starts to perform. Cracks me up everytime. She is sitting up and interested in everything around her. I am having a hard time baking with her because she can reach now and is all up in the bowls.
We tried her some real food this week. Funny to think about a time when we didn't know how to chew or swallow or what to do with food in our mouths. She just looked at me with her moth open like "What the Heck am I supposed to do with this in my mouf?" She rolled it around and then spit it out. It was banana, so later when she spit up, it actually was a pleasant smell. I decided to skip the rice cereal for now, I don't see the purpose of feeding her rice for her first food, that sounds gross. No real nutritional value except for the added iron, which leads to constipation, which no one likes.
I am going to be 32 in 4 days. Wha? Where did all that time go as well? 32? That sounds like a regular woman age, I don't feel like a woman though. I still feel like I am in the girl category. If I don't look too close I can pass for a bit younger, even though things are sitting lower these days. Oh well, I can say that life is only getting better with every year and I look forward to this next one and the next and the next....

my hair is falling out.

2009-10-27T12:33:00.000-07:00

Why? Why is pregnancy so rough on the body? Do all mammals go through all of the physical afflictions of pregnancy? Is there a deer out there in the woods wondering why her hair is falling out a few months after birth? An elephant wondering why her elephant memory isn't good anymore? I fear washing my hair these days because handfuls of hair ends up in the drain, I am seeing my scalp through my once ridiculously thick mound of hair. Its a little upsetting, I do hear that it comes back, and I so glamorously have many little sprouts around my hairline now. But why? If I am meant to reproduce, why isn't my skin already capable of stretching that far without damaging? I do realize that these are all questions for a higher power and the answers do not lie with anyone on earth. I of course focus on the positive, like the baby, her hair is growing in thick and full.....now I see the answer to my question, she is getting all of my hair I am losing. I guess that explains her beautiful skin, her cute little fat boobies, and adorable brand new wardrobe. She has great shoes too.

ha ha ha

2009-10-18T21:06:00.000-07:00

So I finally got a really great belly laugh out of Gigi. All it took was me putting her in the wrap, looking at us in the bathroom mirror and waving my arms and talking really goofy, viola, a good laugh. It was fantastic, I couldnt stop laughing with her. I have to say that is best thing I have yet experienced, making my baby laugh. I hurried to get the video camera so daddy could see it, and I got a little but not nearly as good as when it was spontaneous. She is just a great little girl, usually super happy, if not, its a pretty easy remedy. She is cute as a button and smiles on command. It has been a haaaarrrrd 3 months, but the best 3 months of my 31 years. It is unbelievable how much she has grown and changes in such a short amount of time. I was looking at her today and can't really believe that she came from me, part of me feels like someone just dropped her off one day. But my tummy still kinda looks like it is frowning, so I guess that is proof she was in there. I am glad she got here in time for Halloween, I love dressing her up in outfits, and cant wait for her hotdog costume....and dads hotdog costume. It will rival the fale-bots from last year.
She is drooling like a fountain and has figured out how to get her hands up to her mouth now, small things, but everything is exciting to me, I am obsessed with her. She is going to think I am nuts when she goes back and reads these in a few years.

2 months

2009-10-14T13:35:00.000-07:00

Actually we are closer to 3 months now or as I say when people ask "11 weeks". Crazy how you start counting life in weeks after a baby is born. But every week is victory worth celebrating. We had our check-up and of course my Gigi is a champ! But I have to say I didn't know what agony was until I witnessed my baby in pain. Holding her down while getting shots and watching her face just killed me. I needed the 20 minute recovery time to stop wanting to cry. Of course she was fine as soon as I hooked her up to the food machine. I am so grateful for such a healthy kid and how my heart breaks for parents of children who are not healthy. I have put Gigi on an alternative vaccination schedule because I just dont feel right about pumping my 2 month old with 6! different diseases to fight all at once. I mean, I have a hard enough time fighting just the darn flu vaccine, can you imagine that x 6? Anyway, so now she gets 2 at a time. Yes, more visits to the doctor but its worth it to me. She sat up like a perfect patient and told Dr. all about life. She is 13 lbs, 90th percentile for lenght, 75% for weight and 50% for her head. Its funny to be proud of someone for just growing.
You know what else is funny? I told the dr that I let her watch family feud and she loves it. What I didnt tell the dr is that I have her with me all day, usually attached to me in the wrap and she gets more than just family feud. I also didnt tell the dr that I sleep with my baby and trying to put her in her own bed is harder on me than her. She sleeps fine, I lay awake listening intently on any little sound. So, lots of thinking about and worrying about doing the "right" thing only to come to the conclusion that the right thing is loving my baby. If she is loved and safe and happy then that is all that matters. Looking around at other well adjusted, and even not so well adjusted (as well all turn out a little weird due to life) adults you can't really pick out the ones that watched too much tv, or the ones that slept with their parents a lot, or ones that were breast fed or bottle fed. I would like to think that she will be a healthier stronger child for the breast-milk, well adjusted lots of self confidence due to baby-wearing and co-sleeping. But who really knows? I have to say that a lot of this is for me. I love breast-feeding, I get a good amount of time holding baby quietly, it will be gone too soon and there will be another child needing my attention from my baby. baby #2 won't get so spoiled, I know. And it feels good, some great hormone is released and I love it, may be hooked on it, but I feel great. And sleeping? Well she is my teddy bear, I sleep great when she is in my arms, she sleeps great, we both get sleep. OH well. I will blog in 10 years, and let you know how it turns out.

squeaky clean

2009-10-12T11:21:00.000-07:00

I am a sometimes germaphone. Someone coughing or sneezing makes me crazy and pull my shirt over my face and run away. Toilets gross me out, I always have to hover over an unfamiliar bowl. Yet, occasionally food will hit the floor and I will eat it. I have discussed this with my friend Meryl, and we decided if either surface is wet, then its done for and you dont eat it, if its dry, its probably ok, being picked up immediately. I think this is a side effect of the bakery career, food hitting the floor just isnt that gross. "Hey, who threw all these pastries in the garbage? They hit the floor....who cares? I will eat one" Yes yes, I know if I sit and think about it, think about all the shoes that walk all over the floor, in the bathroom outside....etc, then yes I get grossed out. But wasting a cookie just doesnt happen around here.
I try really really hard to keep my little cupcake clean. I do ridiculous amounts of laundry, she never wears anything twice, a good naked cleaning twice a day, all cracks cleaned. Yet as I sit here with her sleeping on my chest I put my face in her sweet warm neck and smell sour milk. Its a futile fight. I wipe and scrub and soap and it still finds a way to seep deep into her fat rolls. Funny how these things become normal and bring no immediate reaction, no way Im waking her up! How about the other day when I was typing and wondered what was that yellow stuff on the side of my finger.....oh, its just poop. Is my babys liquid gold any less disgusting as any other fecal matter? I dont think so? However I did not jump up and run to the bathroom and bleach my hands, I finished what I was doing then washed them, like it was cake batter or something. I have started making an effort to put on a clean shirt when Patrick gets home. My shirts have become petri dishes for baby substances, spit, barf, poo, pee. Oh well. I knew when I signed up for mommy it wasn't a glamourous position. Im just counting my blessings and days as we get closer to her eating and digesting real human food.....the rules will change when her poo changes. My nephew Ty is starting to talk, the best part is he only says 2 words crystal clear, pee pee, poo poo. I laugh everytime. "Ty, how old are you?", "Pee pee, poo poo". So many times in my life I wish I had used this response to stupid questions and conversations. It pretty much sums up how I feel about a lot of things.

sugar

2009-10-06T17:26:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I have an addiction. Sugar is really not a healthy one, no it isn't crack, but it makes no difference to my teeth. Meth-heads dont have teeth, and I know its a possibilty if I rot mine out eating so much sugar. You would think the 6 fillings I had while 5 months pregnant would be a wake up call, poor little baby didnt care for the drilling. However I am pretty sure there is a direct correlation between the food I ate and the sweetest little baby in the world. She is literally made of sugar and spice and everything nice.....like cake and pastries and currently my breastmilk is snickers flavored. Yay Halloween. No wonder she loves to eat so much. mmmmm, good.
Am I creating the same addiction in my baby? Like moms who smoke have kids that are more likely to be addicted to tobacco. Yes probably, she doesnt stand a chance, everyday she will see me baking something. Just this week I have to make 3 different cakes, some cream puffs and candied walnuts. So, basically I am raising one of americas worst statistics, a kid that loves sugar and watching tv. I even stick things to her head with corn syrup, so it seeps into her skin all day like an IV. No, I am raising my best friend, someone to share all the things I love. Sugar, Target, television and Patrick. Dont worry though, I am also taking her to ballet weekly so she will hopefully enjoy dancing. And we have a garden so hopefully she will love the vegetables too. Its so exciting to think about what kind of person she will be. I often wonder if it is already decided in her DNA or if the things I do have any affect on her personality. So far she loves her bath, she loves her cousins and she loves my dumb face, all make her smile. She loves being outside (no rain yet) and I am pretty sure she likes being dressed up real cute. She likes being close to me (I cant complain) If she falls asleep next to me she will wiggle her way over until she is right up against me and then fall into her deep sleep. And of course she likes Sesame Street, who wouldn't? Good times in Faletown.

baby girl

2009-09-29T18:06:00.000-07:00

Arent they the coolest? What was life before there was this little girl in it? How did I not know her my whole life? Its so strange to think about sometimes. My cousin had a baby a month before I did and our grandma died while we were both early pregnant. She wrote a note a few weeks ago saying that Gwyn slapped Gigi 5 on her way down here and Grams was hanging out with both of them. Strange to think about but easy to believe. Whenever baby girl and I are quietly chillin' Grandma often visits to chill with us. Gram and I were pretty close, dont tell the rest but I am pretty sure I was her favorite. I have missed her since she left but was also peaceful about it because she was so miserable in her old body I was relieved that she was done with the suffering. However since having my baby I have missed her so much more, often thinking that I wish she had the chance to meet my baby. I think knowing she is around us and so close but not having the chance to actually be with her makes me miss her more. I had the perfect grandma, everything you would list in a grandma, like those kids with their mary poppins list. I know my mom will carry on the good gram tradition and I too plan to be the coolest old lady in town. Just think, new babies who love you as much as their own mom but you dont have to do any of the hard stuff like discipline. Im not in a big hurry to get old or for Gigi to grow up, but I am looking forward to this gig, it sounds like a pretty good one. I think its one of lifes small consolations for how fast your own children grow and leave.

cake delivery

2009-09-26T20:57:00.000-07:00

Today I had 3 wedding cakes to finish and deliver. Wow, whos the dummy who booked 3 weddings on one day? Me, and its not the first time I have done that. The difference is, 3 weeks ago when I had my other 3 cake weekend is I had all sorts of help around. This weekend however my mom and sister are out of town and my husband was working a 24hr shift. by the way none of this would be an issue prior to me having a newborn baby. So I packed the bru with a baby, diaper bag full of baby stuff + cake tools, a 3 tier and a 4 tier cake in the back and then had to pick up 140 mini cupcakes waiting at the bakery. Thank God for good friends, my dear Annie met me to go along for the trip. Again, all of this wouldn't be so stressful however one wedding changed its venue to an hour away, that really eats into the delivery time when 3 weddings all commence around the same hour. I actually felt the panic coming on as I was leaving my house, as if I have never done this before.
So wedding #1 far far away where the wind was blowing like a hurricane, other than that it was a beautiful day. Dropped it off, threw flowers on it and (leaving nanny annie in the car with bebe) away we went to the southeast side of Portland. Sidenote: Thank you Dad for the Garmin, it is by far the most wonderful gift that keeps on giving. So wedding #2 was beautiful, I wish I could have stayed for that party, very bright and happy and lots of candy. the cake was dark chocolate exterior which I think is fabulous. Then had to run back to the bakery to pick up cupcakes and head back downtown to set them up at #3. We are well in our groove at this point and talking in depth about what a great reality show this cake delivery business would be. Why? Because I love tv and I think of my life in terms of tv. There is always background music in my head to whatever situation is happening. Anyway, I needed Annies hands on this one so I hooked the baby carrier on one arm, Annie handed me a tray of cupcakes on my shoulder and I headed up a flight of stairs. What would have really made the situation victorious would be if I was wearing heels. The superhero strength that you get once you have children is amazing.
Sigh of relief, cakes all safe and sound happy brides happy cake lady. Best of all my wonderful baby slept the entire time. I have been so blessed with the worlds most laidback well adjusted baby girl. I love her cause I am her mom, but I already know I am going to really like this person.

Soap Operas

2009-09-18T21:22:00.000-07:00

Ok, so most people dont have much to say about soaps, or at least nothing good. I on the otherhand have a few good things to say about them. First of all, I love them. Keep in mind, the majority of the shows on tv that people love are soap operas, just not categorized that way. The Sopranos for example, a soap. In case you feel like arguing here is an official definition: A soap opera, sometimes called "soap" for short, is an ongoing, episodic work of dramatic fiction presented in serial format on television or radio.
I was raised with one since I was in the womb, easily falling asleep of the theme music every afternoon. Now that I am all grown up I realize the useful life lessons learned by watching the mistakes of people on a daily basis. Lesson #1, dont lie, the truth always comes out. Funny thing happened once, this guy once had a girlfriend who told him she was pregnant....after they had broken up. In my mind I immediately thought, no shes not, she is lying to manipulate. Then she said she had an abortion because she knew he wouldnt want it. Red Flag. I dont know how many times I have seen that story. You know what? the truth always comes out. I learned that from watching Carly. Too bad more people dont turn to the soap for some everyday wisdom. So yes, I will let my daughter watch them when they are on and she can ask me questions about them. I plan to try and edit the sex (thank you dvr) but when that question arises, I have a perfectly edited made for tv explaination.....and all of the dramatic and heart wrenching consequences of having sex. Thank you again Television! Haha. Clearly I have been home watching tv a lot lately. I can say with no real shame that I am currently following 4 shows, Young and the Restless, Bold and the Beautiful, As the world turns and guiding light. Fortunately for me guiding light had its last episode today, I was a little sad, but I was also a little sad when Laguna Beach had its last episode. Thats not sayin much, Im a little sad my baby cant fit in her newborn clothes anymore. So really what I am admitting to is my addiction. I love crap. I think a better word is sweets, watching reality tv and soaps is like eating those mini snickers. I can't get enough. Oh well, its not crack right?

I forgot

2009-09-13T16:58:00.000-07:00

I sat down to write about something and I forgot. Thats how it goes these days, I forget a lot. Usually its words. The other day I was trying to tell my sister about a corduroy skirt and i couldn't remember what the word was for that particular material. I said it was kinda fuzzy with lines and you wear it in the fall. It was like a game of password. So not only does childbirth wreck your body, it strips your brain too. I am so looking forward to the part when my hair falls out in the next few months.
Little Gigi is getting big and fat and smiling and laughing, life with her gets better everyday. Daddy is always a fun person to look and laugh at and he is learning the + and - of daddying. First, don't pick up baby by her arms, no no. I am glad I was there for that lesson! Funny how swiftly you can move when you see disaster happening in the making. I have such a strong sense of protecting my little thing I feel almost like I couldnt get hurt in the process, or maybe its the not caring if I do get hurt.

I love muffins, just not the tops.

2009-09-04T12:47:00.000-07:00

More importantly, my muffin top. I always wondered, why are all these young girls out of shape and having this muffin top epidemic? You know why? Low rise jeans! I thought it must just be the generation, no one looked like that when I was in high school. You know why? Because we didn't wear low rise jeans, yes Im that old. We were wearing Gap Classic Fit, which fit nice and snug right up to your belly button. NOW, 6 weeks post pregnant I have a tummy, left over skin and fat? who knows what all is in there, just not a baby. So I go to buy some regular jeans because I have been wearing maternity pants forever, and I squeeze them on and button them up and there it is, the top of my muffin. I thought I have been looking darn good the past couple weeks, but all big soft waistbands have been deceiving me. I have moved up the scale from a size 2 to a size 8. The life changing event continues everyday. It sure is a crazy journey this baby puts you on. I dont care too much, but really I would love to fit back into that HUGE pile of jeans I have sitting in my closet patiently awaiting my return. Dont get my wrong, I love buying new clothes, but I dont want to buy all new clothes, I still have feelings for my old ones. OH well, lets focus on the positive. 6 weeks, 30 lbs. Hopefully the next 6 weeks goes as well. And more importantly baby Gigi is 11 lbs. However she still have the most horrible case of baby acne I have ever seen and it traumatizes me to see her poor little face, head and shoulders so inflamed everyday. I hate the do nothing approach.

leakage

2009-09-03T21:34:00.000-07:00

A few months ago if you had asked me about breastfeeding I wouldnt really know how I felt about it. I think it was awkward and weird to have milk come out of my boobs and having a little person working them over. But now, strangely enough it feels very natural and I actually like having my baby still on my lap staring at me. Today I was shopping. Enjoying being out of my house, feeling normal again, shopping for clothing that isn't maternity and all of the sudden I look down and my boobs are leaking. What? The utter assault that child bearing is on your body just goes on and on, it does not end at birth. Your bones and tendons get loose while pregnant so things can move, however afterwards they all tighten up and you are sore because everything has been stretched out and is now trying to move back and it sucks just as bad as when it was moving out. But said best in the words of my cousin "There is nothing like being assaulted by a machine" while she was pumping milk with the breast pump. That is pretty accurate, there is nothing gentle or endearing about the pump....it sucks. :)

Chris Isaak

2009-09-03T18:15:00.000-07:00

Yes, Chris, I still love him as much as I did when I found his first cassette tape. The first concert my sister took me to in Eugene for high school graduation. The most recent, last night at Edgefield with my husband and daughter, breastfeeding on the lawn. Im one of those people now, a parent. Needless to say I don't think I have much of a chance with Chris now. Its ok, I dont think I could handle the stress of constant touring. Life has changed drastically from waiting until after the concert to see him sign autographs and just standing there staring to leaving the concert early because my baby was tired and overstimulated. It was still a fantastic concert. Ive taken many a boyfriend to see this show and I have finally found the one man who appreciates my obsession and even offers to hold the baby so I can get close to the stage. I still love the show and the mirror suit and everything, and I hope I can bring my daughters year after year. Really because I need to teach my children how to people watch and how to laugh at humanity and this concert brings out the best specimens.

Smiles!

2009-09-01T11:11:00.000-07:00

Yay, baby Gigi started smiling! When she wakes up....after her wake-up farts she starts smiling when she opens her eyes and sees you. I have to say nothing in my life has made me feel more awesome than when my baby girl smiles at me. I am pretty sure it is the cutest smile ever, but it is elusive, hard to catch on film. Her little eyes smile with her lips and it is impossible not to smile with her. I like to think it is because she is just happy to see me, so we will go with that. It often goes from a smile into a grimace and then a cry. But hey, we are all learning here.

baby daddy

2009-08-28T18:56:00.001-07:00

Who knew feeding a baby would be such a popular activity? Daddy really wanted to feed Gigi, he keeps asking me when he can do it......I say when he grows some milk ducts. haha. Being the generous wifey I am I let him take some of the frozen back-up to feed her while I decorated a cake. He was so excited and she did such a good job accommodating her dad, she took her whole bottle and even mustered a burp. This is all a good thing in the fale house except for my now super engorged boobs from skipping a meal. Its just one of those things you take for granted being the mama. Im lucky to have a husband who wants to be part of it....now if I can just get him to want to be part of it in the middle of the night.

baby cakes

2009-08-27T19:12:00.000-07:00

I had a real small idea of what it would be like to have a baby, just from watching my sisters and friends. So I just kept plugging along with my wedding cakes, booking up my months, planning 2 weeks off before and after the baby was born. I should be back on my feet by 2 weeks right? Ya, so its been 4 weeks and I am back on my feet, long enough to take a shower and change her diaper and then Im off my feet again to feed her. I have had 2 wedding cakes already and it takes me all week to do 1. I break into a sweat when I think about delivering a cake with the baby in the back too. So far its been successful, but sooooo much work. I really wish I could go back in time and kick myself in the head. I have 3 wedding cakes next weekend. Please tell me how I am going to do that? I guess I just am because I have already taken their money and what would be worse than having your cake decorator call you and tell you she isn't doing your cake anymore?
OH well, it got done and I have pictures to prove it is possible to frost a cake with a baby in a sling.

blog it out....

2009-08-25T18:26:00.000-07:00

So I know this trend will fade as I find less time to be sitting with my beloved laptop so I better just blog blog blog all I can while I can. I love reading blogs, all of you friends, even some people I dont like, I like to read your blog. I think it could be due to my soap opera addiction and reading crappy magazines. I love to hear about other peoples lives. I watch reality shows, all of them, I dont think there are any good ones, I think they are all crap, but the crappier the better. Then at the end of the week I watch the soup and laugh at all those crappy shows I watch. For example, the real world. WTF? Its the same group of strangers doing the same stupid stuff in the same overly decorated "apartment". They have the same drama about leaving a BF at home and then finding out that they really do want to sleep around and then calling the BF and telling them they are sorry but they have just grown apart. Its so heartwrenching. I always think about these people and what they are going to tell their kids in 20 years about being on tv and acting like that on tv. Oh and the Hills. Yes, I love the hills, I fell in love with laguna beach and have grown with them. Totally useless human beings who have no reason to be on tv, or any reason to be "famous". But I am part of the problem because I watch. I HATE heidi and spencer, yet I watch them, its like cigarettes, such a dirty addictive little habit, and I hate them more and more everytime I see their stupid faces. Big Brother, why is that show still on TV? Its the Real World on a different station. Awful.
I am terribly sorry if you are reading this about reality tv, its almost as bad as making you watch it yourself. Back to configuring cupcakes so they spell out something clever....thats why I get paid the big bucks.

Sugar-blog

2009-08-25T11:02:00.000-07:00

So, Ive never "blogged". Hmmm, Im not sure what to type about, but since giving birth to my first lil' baby Ive had lots of time, time sitting around my house and thinking. Ive been thinking I should be keeping a journal about all of this, life has totally changed and it should be documented somehow. I really didnt understand how much life would change once baby arrived. BUT, it did change, a lot. Mostly for the better, I can't imagine life without my Gigi. I do miss my waist and my ability to just go on a whim, now its a lot of planning and timing.
Its been 4 weeks, I can't think of anything else that goes so slow yet so fast, I have nothing else to compare it to in my life. I absolutely adore this little lady and her little newborn-ness, but I often find myself in a hurry for her to be 6 weeks old, or 12 weeks old. Then I feel guilty for rushing her. I have to remind myself to just hold her and look at her and it doesn't matter how many hours I spend holding my baby, one day it won't have been enough. She and I are still having our withdrawals from being one body to 2 bodies. I don't like leaving her in a different room than where I am and I dont like going to sleep without her. Crazy? Maybe, but it is what it is. This is mostly a record for me so I can remember this time of my life. I am so sleep deprived I have a hard time remembering things from one minute to the next. I also know that one day my little girl that I adore will look at me with fire in her eyes and tell my I am awful and I will probably feel the same way towards her. I can't imagine that now, but I think about my own life at 12 and how I couldnt understand why my mom was so mean to me. Ha! Sorry mom. I have reached a new level of enlightenment where my mom is concerned. She felt the same way about me as I feel about my baby, huh, how about that? And Ive only known Georgia for 4 weeks, my mom has loved me for 31 years. Everyday I love my baby more, what will it be like in 30 years? This realization gives me patience and appreciation for my parents.
There are so many more random thoughts in my head, like how proud I am of my boobs for making milk, thats weird. And how amazed I am at my body for making a perfect baby, and the ability to give birth. All the work and pain involved and how it all kind of fades away with everyday. Just a couple days after having Gigi I remember thinking, oh ya, I can do this again. Not for a while, but I find myself looking forward to the high of seeing your child for the first time, makes every bit of pain and trauma worth it. These are all thoughts and emotions I could have never understood until experiencing it myself. I am so thankful to have been able to experience all of this. Sappy, sure. But don't knock it till you try it. Life is for living and experiencing all of it, don't waste a minute wishing your baby would grow up faster.